31 May 2011

Hey there, I am no stranger to you. I am the one you looked to when things weren't right. The one you've seen beside you always- that voice in your mind telling you to be proud of yourself, but in such a small voice that I was often ignored... though I was with you always.
And now, I have come to stay. You have found yourself, my dear. You have found your place, your purpose, so to speak. You have finally become something greater and you belong here.

Remember those many, many days and nights, when you used to cry yourself to sleep and wish to get away? when you would terrorize sheets of paper with your beautiful but often troubling poetry? Those pages of your soul glazed with a heavy, salty gloss? do you know where they are now? They sit together, neatly presented next to your new life... the one that never showed what you went through to get where you are now. You have done well hiding all that you are from the world, but I know you never forgot it. You carried all that with you. Sometimes, though few, falling over. And now, don't you see? you are not alone... never as you thought before. 'Your faith has saved you', not because you asked and waited patiently, but because you shared it. And it has brought you the people you hold dear to you.
You need to let them know....

But more importantly now, you need to honour yourself. Too many days of your life you laugh and listen and smile and cry- all for others. I know you are a great person; you are genuine and true. You are a lifesaver and a dreamer. You are careful and cautious and caring. You dare the life out of yourself- you live for the smiles of others and their own happiness... but you wait patiently for your own to come along.

And you never see it coming. You live your life from one happy moment to the next, and you find an appreciation for everything you do- because you have had too much sadness in your past already. Too much for one as great as you. But perhaps that is why you are so great- perhaps it is your past that made you this way. But no- We both know it is because of your past. We know that you avoid any new situation that could bring up a flashback. You avoid experiences that would resurrect your terror. You avoid confrontations and conflict because you know that it might be the same.
Your whole life you grew up to be all that your childhood wasn't . you grew to be different than where you came from. No one should have to know or have to share that part of you. And you do everything you can to keep it at bay. Everything you can to ensure no one else has to suffer through it as you. And that no one hides it as you have.

And this is where you belong. You have found your passion, you have enjoyed it and it has brought you genuine happiness. Though you live each day now with your past hanging out in your mind, you know its place now- it is a reference... it is an experience, and it is a motivation. you recognise who you are and who you have become. And you know why you are this way. And that is why you are so successful. But no one can ever, ever know. And that is why you will never be shown true gratitude specifically. But you are a miracle, you know. From the beginning there was something more to you. You can see that spark of sincerity behind hiding or lying eyes. You have that ability to calm anxiety, though none of it your own. You can smile and bring one everywhere you go. You can share your passions in this life with others like yourself. And because of what you know and have been through- you make the greatest difference in the future generation, one child at a time.
This, dear, is where you belong; using your past and preserving the qualities of today's youth. Referencing your experiences to make connections and differences. And you succeed. This is where you belong, making these differences. And I know that you will, and you will seek out opportunities to do so.

You are a genuine and remarkable individual. And I am proud of you- for all of your accomplishments, your downfalls, your successes and failures because I know that you take each for its own and give it due credit for its impact on you now. But I am most proud of you for finally being able to see how much of a good and great person you are. And nothing says that more than when you finally spell it out for the world to see if it wants to. Even if you are not being very direct.

Because you and I are the same.

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