31 May 2011

Going back

“Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.”
I am survivng and recovering. And I am still so sorry for not being able to express myself or share myself and my problems. I know who my friends are. I don't know why I didn't go to them. And I am still regretting it. I've been fixing myself for too long; I think I am too used to dealing with it all on my own.

“A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.”
After everything that's happened, I still have a long way to go.
I am so used to being alone that it is hard for me to really rely on people when I need them most. I think I may just be afraid, scared that I won't be me anymore. I have spent too much of my life hiding things from myself, and, I guess, also ignoring or denying that they are a part of me.
My friends... how can I accept myself?

Writing is a healing process for me. It works better than running though not as much as drawing and painting. Expressing myself through art is the best way for me to work through things.

And I now.. I reallly know that I have you to count on... t ohelp me through, because

“Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends.”

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