I face my fires straight on
I walk the high road, along the cliffs
I stand and stare and read
I repair the pieces of me that I have
left over
I am keeping the middle of myself safe
and secret
I won't let anyone near it now
I'm keeping the important things
safe and sound
I won't let this heart of mine
find trouble
I'm saving time
instead of heartaches I'll have
thundershowers and adventures
I'll fine the little missing pieces of
happiness I long ago forgot I had
I'll put it all back together
and I won't turn back
29 December 2011
27 December 2011
anticipation
I am afraid
I feel lost when I think about it,
and I can't seem to understand what or why or how
I am reduced
to the very base of life
to the smallest site of hope and shadows
There are no words left for me
No lines or songs adrift
no shadows to hold onto
but somewhere in the deepest caverns of my soul
I am alive
I feel lost when I think about it,
and I can't seem to understand what or why or how
I am reduced
to the very base of life
to the smallest site of hope and shadows
There are no words left for me
No lines or songs adrift
no shadows to hold onto
but somewhere in the deepest caverns of my soul
I am alive
26 December 2011
sometimes the lights flicker
I burn bridges
I build walls
and I steel away on
homemade rafts in the middle of the night
silent and quiet
and alone
I light fires
I incite riots
and I inflame my soul with
songs and shouts and cries
and when there is no one around
to call me
I whisper
so I can speak my peace
and sometimes all the little lights
flicker in the windows as I go
I build walls
and I steel away on
homemade rafts in the middle of the night
silent and quiet
and alone
I light fires
I incite riots
and I inflame my soul with
songs and shouts and cries
and when there is no one around
to call me
I whisper
so I can speak my peace
and sometimes all the little lights
flicker in the windows as I go
24 December 2011
21 December 2011
go
follow your heart, they say
let it tell you where to go, and who to love,
and what to do forever
but don't let it rush you into hasty decisions
or things you'll regret
they say, that no good deed goes unpunished,
so tread carefully.
but how then do we learn what is right?
or what is wrong...
and how do we grow up,
when all around us are forces that hold us in,
and keep us young.
all my life I've been sheltered and protected
and I need to escape. I need to just go
there are times these days where I find myself
stuck in structure and left alone
but I need to go somewhere quiet.
somewhere to truly listen to my heart,
where the sounds of the world are muted
and the lights of the word are dim
and I can be alone and all I know
and all I see and feel is the smallest truth of my soul,
the smallest bit if my life, of my future, of my fire.
i want to know my direction.
how do i fit in in this world.
where are my die cast?
where does my puzzle piece fit in.
to all the world and all those in it, \
for fear and fame and adventure and
all the trials and tribulations that co-occur
I must rediscover and balance
I must find my way and go where the stars lead me,
where I can be free
and grown up and true and alive
not living in these paper times
not living all these left behind dreams and wishes
from others long ago.
my dreams are my own and my life is independent,
or will be, soon.
for the future radiates like light through glass bottles.
let it tell you where to go, and who to love,
and what to do forever
but don't let it rush you into hasty decisions
or things you'll regret
they say, that no good deed goes unpunished,
so tread carefully.
but how then do we learn what is right?
or what is wrong...
and how do we grow up,
when all around us are forces that hold us in,
and keep us young.
all my life I've been sheltered and protected
and I need to escape. I need to just go
there are times these days where I find myself
stuck in structure and left alone
but I need to go somewhere quiet.
somewhere to truly listen to my heart,
where the sounds of the world are muted
and the lights of the word are dim
and I can be alone and all I know
and all I see and feel is the smallest truth of my soul,
the smallest bit if my life, of my future, of my fire.
i want to know my direction.
how do i fit in in this world.
where are my die cast?
where does my puzzle piece fit in.
to all the world and all those in it, \
for fear and fame and adventure and
all the trials and tribulations that co-occur
I must rediscover and balance
I must find my way and go where the stars lead me,
where I can be free
and grown up and true and alive
not living in these paper times
not living all these left behind dreams and wishes
from others long ago.
my dreams are my own and my life is independent,
or will be, soon.
for the future radiates like light through glass bottles.
19 December 2011
leave it by the waterside
just leave it all behind
don't think of me
don't talk to me
don't wish upon a star
because I don't want to remember
I don't want to care
all I am am,
I let you in
I let you into my soul
and you just let me go
I wished on everything
that you would stay
that you would say hello
when all you could do was goodbye
I know it's not easy to make
these choices
but it's the difficult things
that are worth it
but after all this
after all we've been through
I guess you don't feel as I do
I guess you don't care
thank you for teaching me all about life
and love and heartbreak
I couldn't have asked for a better teacher
I don't want your sorry
I don't want a goodbye
Don't wish me well
don't touch me
just take what you have
what is yours and go
and leave it by the waterside
let the tide take it away....
don't think of me
don't talk to me
don't wish upon a star
because I don't want to remember
I don't want to care
all I am am,
I let you in
I let you into my soul
and you just let me go
I wished on everything
that you would stay
that you would say hello
when all you could do was goodbye
I know it's not easy to make
these choices
but it's the difficult things
that are worth it
but after all this
after all we've been through
I guess you don't feel as I do
I guess you don't care
thank you for teaching me all about life
and love and heartbreak
I couldn't have asked for a better teacher
I don't want your sorry
I don't want a goodbye
Don't wish me well
don't touch me
just take what you have
what is yours and go
and leave it by the waterside
let the tide take it away....
18 December 2011
forget it
forget it or don't
forget me not
or do as you will
plant a flower or plant a tree
leave one light on just for me
write a letter and set in in the post
remember dearly what you love the most
keep your secrets
or set them free
believe what it is to be
alive and living
to dream, and be dreaming
show what you think and know to be real
give it a chance
listen to the records and shout out the songs
when no one is looking
when no one's around
fight the fire of your desire
let the flames out
let them burn higher
remember what it's like to know fear and disaster
wash them away with love and with laughter
remember the names of your closest friends
and how when they spoke
you could be mistaken
now from then
all the time it's been
don't forget...
forget me not
or do as you will
plant a flower or plant a tree
leave one light on just for me
write a letter and set in in the post
remember dearly what you love the most
keep your secrets
or set them free
believe what it is to be
alive and living
to dream, and be dreaming
show what you think and know to be real
give it a chance
listen to the records and shout out the songs
when no one is looking
when no one's around
fight the fire of your desire
let the flames out
let them burn higher
remember what it's like to know fear and disaster
wash them away with love and with laughter
remember the names of your closest friends
and how when they spoke
you could be mistaken
now from then
all the time it's been
don't forget...
15 December 2011
waiting
I sit and wait
looking searching beyond the horizon
waiting for those last few obstacles to be overcome
a final quiz
I could have been ambitious
I could have been home by now
I could be wrapped in the arms of my love
my friend
I suffer treachery of what ifs and last minute changes
that gut feeling anxiety when you know it's now too late
the ease of one less thing to worry about, though,
that is refreshing
as good news come streaming in
passing grades, confirmed plans
my heart fills with excited anticipation
as that hour draw near
and I can finally
make my way home
looking searching beyond the horizon
waiting for those last few obstacles to be overcome
a final quiz
I could have been ambitious
I could have been home by now
I could be wrapped in the arms of my love
my friend
I suffer treachery of what ifs and last minute changes
that gut feeling anxiety when you know it's now too late
the ease of one less thing to worry about, though,
that is refreshing
as good news come streaming in
passing grades, confirmed plans
my heart fills with excited anticipation
as that hour draw near
and I can finally
make my way home
14 December 2011
mirror mirror
mirror mirror
friend of mine
why don't you answer
when I ask why?
why are there stars instead of sparks
why is the night so full of dark?
why do I cry before I fall asleep?
and why oh why won't you answer me?
mirror mirror on the wall,
why is my reflection, always so small?
where does the spring come from
and how does it get here?
are there places that I don't know,
where someday I could hope to go,
or must I sit and read
about them for eternity?
why are wars so present here
that every life and every year
must know about them
firsthand?
why can't those be the words confined to spaces within a page within a book bound within a volume within the panes and stories of a library in some small town in a place I never heard before?
why don't the stars stay out during the day when everything is beautiful and clear and bright and real and here and not imagined?
tell me why, mirror in the sky, why do I know you and how do I see, what is it that's so special about me, that keeps my momma so close and my sisters so dear and my poppa so big and my brothers so near?
why do you think I ask all this of you, all these questions just like so, all those miracles day in and out where life is imagined but real in a thought....
why can't you hear me, is my voice that small?
oh my vision, my friend, not at all
friend of mine
why don't you answer
when I ask why?
why are there stars instead of sparks
why is the night so full of dark?
why do I cry before I fall asleep?
and why oh why won't you answer me?
mirror mirror on the wall,
why is my reflection, always so small?
where does the spring come from
and how does it get here?
are there places that I don't know,
where someday I could hope to go,
or must I sit and read
about them for eternity?
why are wars so present here
that every life and every year
must know about them
firsthand?
why can't those be the words confined to spaces within a page within a book bound within a volume within the panes and stories of a library in some small town in a place I never heard before?
why don't the stars stay out during the day when everything is beautiful and clear and bright and real and here and not imagined?
tell me why, mirror in the sky, why do I know you and how do I see, what is it that's so special about me, that keeps my momma so close and my sisters so dear and my poppa so big and my brothers so near?
why do you think I ask all this of you, all these questions just like so, all those miracles day in and out where life is imagined but real in a thought....
why can't you hear me, is my voice that small?
oh my vision, my friend, not at all
12 December 2011
winter fleeting
my tears, I cry,
the rain...knows why
I let myself go
to the sky
each winter when it snows
the flakes will sparkle,
soft and slow
time passes in the cold
outside, nowhere to go
in the house its warm
and lone-ly
it's safe and cozy too
all but me
these long months I dream and see
nothing behind or in store to be
I hope and wish that seasons flee
winter fleeting
but when the snow falls
all is lovely and bright
all is calm and all is right
don't you hear the songs they sing
round Christmas time,
the caroling
joy to the world and peace on earth
you are not alone
do sing with us
for life and laughter lives to be
joy for all, for you and me
with smiles red and good cheer
we welcome you now
we welcome you here
stay awhile and let's be merry
festive
bright red roses and cherries
deep green trees holly and berries
Christmas time joyeux noel
be happy let your sorrows go
let this time of year
bring you happiness and cheer
that when the summer months return
all too soon you will start to yearn
for the quiet moments of here and now
you're wishing away,
no sight no sound
to soon it will be, right now don't you see
this time is a gift so precious so rare
keep it and treasure in your memory
for time as you know,
is fleeting
the rain...knows why
I let myself go
to the sky
each winter when it snows
the flakes will sparkle,
soft and slow
time passes in the cold
outside, nowhere to go
in the house its warm
and lone-ly
it's safe and cozy too
all but me
these long months I dream and see
nothing behind or in store to be
I hope and wish that seasons flee
winter fleeting
but when the snow falls
all is lovely and bright
all is calm and all is right
don't you hear the songs they sing
round Christmas time,
the caroling
joy to the world and peace on earth
you are not alone
do sing with us
for life and laughter lives to be
joy for all, for you and me
with smiles red and good cheer
we welcome you now
we welcome you here
stay awhile and let's be merry
festive
bright red roses and cherries
deep green trees holly and berries
Christmas time joyeux noel
be happy let your sorrows go
let this time of year
bring you happiness and cheer
that when the summer months return
all too soon you will start to yearn
for the quiet moments of here and now
you're wishing away,
no sight no sound
to soon it will be, right now don't you see
this time is a gift so precious so rare
keep it and treasure in your memory
for time as you know,
is fleeting
11 December 2011
I send my thanks to Brian for nominating my blog for this Liebster Award. It is refreshing to know that my poems are so appreciated and valued. Your encouragement keeps me motivated to continue with this project, what started as my mid year's resolution.
take a look at his blog, brians ramblings from the edge: http://briansramblingsfromtheedge.blogspot.com/
His words are more like love letters, filled with a devotion that seems to be lost in today's world. I admire it greatly.
The Liebster Blog award is given to up-and-coming bloggers who have fewer than 200 followers. Liebster is German and means dearest.
The rules for the Liebster Award are:
1. Thank the giver and link back to the blogger who gave it to you.
2. Reveal your five personal nominations and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.
3. Copy and paste the award on your blog.
4. Have faith that your followers will spread the love too!
These blogs are my nominations.Please take a moment to visit each of them.
They are special people with wonderful blogs!
elaborate nonsense: http://thatcomesandgoes.blogspot.com/
her stories inspire and provoke thoughtful questions and reflections on our own lives. Her writing is beautiful.
...and not, when I came to die, discover that I have not lived.: http://idratherbewild.blogspot.com/
so relate-able to the things we struggle with every day. Her openness is inspiring.
feathers and ink: http://ebibenta.blogspot.com/
an inspiring and unique look at the world. who knew so much could be said in so few words and with such elegance.
yesterday:http://prestonandcorine.blogspot.com/
lovely life experiences
dandelion soup: http://dandelionsoup.blogspot.com/
her creativity is admirable and honestly, I am envious of her talent. her skill is exquisite , in her words and in her art.
see through me
you looked into my eyes,
past the fear I held inside
you held my hand
and touched my heart
I never thought to love once more
or surface to the world again
but you saw me, you held my hand
'let me always be your man'
through the days and weeks that passed
through all the time we want to last
each minute slow, the heart beats true
I give it all, and all to you
the words you softly spoke
I knew then it was no joke
for the feelings I held deep
I am yours, and yours to keep
my God, how I do,
I love you
past the fear I held inside
you held my hand
and touched my heart
I never thought to love once more
or surface to the world again
but you saw me, you held my hand
'let me always be your man'
through the days and weeks that passed
through all the time we want to last
each minute slow, the heart beats true
I give it all, and all to you
the words you softly spoke
I knew then it was no joke
for the feelings I held deep
I am yours, and yours to keep
my God, how I do,
I love you
07 December 2011
avalanche
one by one the flakes fall down
they settle for a moment
then melt
more and more start to come
they congregate
and melt
the temperature falls
the sky stays grey
they settle for a moment
then melt
more and more start to come
they congregate
and melt
the temperature falls
the sky stays grey
06 December 2011
meep
when I close my eyes and hope
to rejuvenate all my shadows
to mirror the person I am now
not who I used to be
I must sit and reflect
I wasn't bad,
don't get me wrong
I wasn't alone
for very long
I wasn't mad when the sun didn't shine
and I wasn't sad, because you're mine
but who I am now
is all I am
and more than I was
more than yesterday
and not quite what I will be
ever changing
ever growing
that is me,
all ever wanting
to know to dream to be
to rejuvenate all my shadows
to mirror the person I am now
not who I used to be
I must sit and reflect
I wasn't bad,
don't get me wrong
I wasn't alone
for very long
I wasn't mad when the sun didn't shine
and I wasn't sad, because you're mine
but who I am now
is all I am
and more than I was
more than yesterday
and not quite what I will be
ever changing
ever growing
that is me,
all ever wanting
to know to dream to be
05 December 2011
this confusion
I don't know what to say
or even what to do
before today I thought I knew
happiness
Where I am is where I wanted to be
but now with you
with your words and what you have to say
I find it hard to focus
and I cannot not concentrate
my life takes a new road
it follows the stars,
wherever they go
I don't know what to say
I don't know what to do
I feel things now
deeper than my heart
this confusion
I am lost in
I can't find my way out
I look for familiar faces
but I stand alone and blind
I want to trust my heart
but cannot decipher
it's small hints and messages
all the things it says and does
I am clueless
or even what to do
before today I thought I knew
happiness
Where I am is where I wanted to be
but now with you
with your words and what you have to say
I find it hard to focus
and I cannot not concentrate
my life takes a new road
it follows the stars,
wherever they go
I don't know what to say
I don't know what to do
I feel things now
deeper than my heart
this confusion
I am lost in
I can't find my way out
I look for familiar faces
but I stand alone and blind
I want to trust my heart
but cannot decipher
it's small hints and messages
all the things it says and does
I am clueless
04 December 2011
my last
I remember last night
the last kiss I had, the last one I gave
the last song I heard, I sang,
I whispered
the last thing I had hoped for,
yearned and pleaded for
the last time I cried myself to sleep
the last dream I had,
one dream
the last miracle I witnessed
one day
may have the fortune to witness another
but now
I won't know
what there is for me
what there is to hear or see
I go to bed and dream of thee
I fall asleep
of my lasts I think
I hope in the morning,
I shall wake again and live
each day with integrity
with love and sincerity
as if it were my last
as if it were my last
the last kiss I had, the last one I gave
the last song I heard, I sang,
I whispered
the last thing I had hoped for,
yearned and pleaded for
the last time I cried myself to sleep
the last dream I had,
one dream
the last miracle I witnessed
one day
may have the fortune to witness another
but now
I won't know
what there is for me
what there is to hear or see
I go to bed and dream of thee
I fall asleep
of my lasts I think
I hope in the morning,
I shall wake again and live
each day with integrity
with love and sincerity
as if it were my last
as if it were my last
03 December 2011
retrieval
help me get back what once was mine
I write the words I cannot speak
for fear of hurting your soul
but while yours live on
in comfort and ease
mine begins to go
with each new dawn begins a new day
leaving memories of my pain
a heart so full cannot run away
but it cannot live through this
again
I should have wandered far and gone
and never look back when I did
but as it stands I have no home
and no choices left to decide
help me help me
get back what once I was
what once was me
I write the words I cannot speak
for fear of hurting your soul
but while yours live on
in comfort and ease
mine begins to go
with each new dawn begins a new day
leaving memories of my pain
a heart so full cannot run away
but it cannot live through this
again
I should have wandered far and gone
and never look back when I did
but as it stands I have no home
and no choices left to decide
help me help me
get back what once I was
what once was me
02 December 2011
all around wherever you go
We look up above and
we look down below
out toward the horizon
and into our souls
We seek the pure goodness
of He who was here
in hopes that His news
will ease all our fear
For when the heavens shall part
and voice speak below
I am pleased with my son
follow where He goes
I'll show you the way
as a shepherd herds sheep
and forever and always
your hearts I shall keep
we look down below
out toward the horizon
and into our souls
We seek the pure goodness
of He who was here
in hopes that His news
will ease all our fear
For when the heavens shall part
and voice speak below
I am pleased with my son
follow where He goes
I'll show you the way
as a shepherd herds sheep
and forever and always
your hearts I shall keep
01 December 2011
please hear what I'm not saying
Alone in my thoughts
a familiar world to me
unanswered questions are
pondered
as my wishes begin to develop
into dreams as I sleep
Whatever it is
or wherever I am
it always turns out right
the things I live through
during the day,
and everything that happens
I know by the end
a familiar world to me
unanswered questions are
pondered
as my wishes begin to develop
into dreams as I sleep
Whatever it is
or wherever I am
it always turns out right
the things I live through
during the day,
and everything that happens
I know by the end
30 November 2011
one more
I hide my secrets where they can wash away
and each and every night they do,
I learn to let go of the things
that bring me down
drag me down
to their level
I leave behind those evil thoughts
that feed my anger and frustration
I set free my peace and harmony
that I've trapped and belittled
while hating all those days
new doors are opened
and each one I walk through
I seek not to conquer and contain
but explore and feed my famished mind
curiosity buds and blossoms
and I
shall seek to fill the emptiness in my soul
while I seek to be one more
who lived their live day to day
instead of door to door
and each and every night they do,
I learn to let go of the things
that bring me down
drag me down
to their level
I leave behind those evil thoughts
that feed my anger and frustration
I set free my peace and harmony
that I've trapped and belittled
while hating all those days
new doors are opened
and each one I walk through
I seek not to conquer and contain
but explore and feed my famished mind
curiosity buds and blossoms
and I
shall seek to fill the emptiness in my soul
while I seek to be one more
who lived their live day to day
instead of door to door
29 November 2011
save me?
where I used to sing alone
around the circle of time
I stand
key points of interest marble dry
as earth dispelled
beneath the soles of my feet
as I ran
running farther away from here
from there
closer to my new world
closer to my whisper dreams
nearer my reality
but each moment disturbed drags me down
deeper deeper towards the ground
each step a weakness I never imagined
each moment a disaster,
a dragon
in my dreams
my actions never cease to be
but recently they seem to be
shadows of a life once lived so well
energy drowned in the wishing well
shadows of a field mined dry
save me
before I can no longer cry
around the circle of time
I stand
key points of interest marble dry
as earth dispelled
beneath the soles of my feet
as I ran
running farther away from here
from there
closer to my new world
closer to my whisper dreams
nearer my reality
but each moment disturbed drags me down
deeper deeper towards the ground
each step a weakness I never imagined
each moment a disaster,
a dragon
in my dreams
my actions never cease to be
but recently they seem to be
shadows of a life once lived so well
energy drowned in the wishing well
shadows of a field mined dry
save me
before I can no longer cry
28 November 2011
fast asleep
when I close my eyes
and show the world the light
of my smile
I hope and pray it lasts a while
just long enough to see it
to catch it,
to watch it go...
when I feel my eyes
don't show me things anymore
that people pass by and
I can't know for sure
the colors of the world
or the shadows of my soul,
if they linger or are here no more...
sometimes like a flashing light
all the words in the world
make everything all right
and for that impulse moment
for that brief delay
show me secrets so that I too,
may enjoy
the smile on my face for you
everyday and more
and when I close my eyes at night
fast asleep,
a smile in my heart
and show the world the light
of my smile
I hope and pray it lasts a while
just long enough to see it
to catch it,
to watch it go...
when I feel my eyes
don't show me things anymore
that people pass by and
I can't know for sure
the colors of the world
or the shadows of my soul,
if they linger or are here no more...
sometimes like a flashing light
all the words in the world
make everything all right
and for that impulse moment
for that brief delay
show me secrets so that I too,
may enjoy
the smile on my face for you
everyday and more
and when I close my eyes at night
fast asleep,
a smile in my heart
27 November 2011
the only one
you are the only star in my sky
when I'm fast asleep and close my eyes
all of where I used to be
means nothing now, don't you see
whenever there are clouds above
and rain and sleet and snow
the windows covered with pieces of the sky
with tears of angels watching below
far away you are from me
and so slowly time goes by
but when I look before I sleep
only one star in all the sky
when I'm fast asleep and close my eyes
all of where I used to be
means nothing now, don't you see
whenever there are clouds above
and rain and sleet and snow
the windows covered with pieces of the sky
with tears of angels watching below
far away you are from me
and so slowly time goes by
but when I look before I sleep
only one star in all the sky
26 November 2011
life wish
I want to live my life free of fear
I want to open my eyes and still have you here
live all my dreams
not cry myself to sleep
I want to walk straight and tall
know I'll survive should I ever fall
that I have your hand and your heart
even when we're far apart
I want to treat you right
show you that my love is bright
can shine through darkest days
and clear out any haze
I want to open my eyes and still have you here
live all my dreams
not cry myself to sleep
I want to walk straight and tall
know I'll survive should I ever fall
that I have your hand and your heart
even when we're far apart
I want to treat you right
show you that my love is bright
can shine through darkest days
and clear out any haze
25 November 2011
self discovery
who are you when I'm not here
do you even miss me
do you even care
who am I when I'm far away?
am I gentle still
or have I gone... crazy
do I live in color
or shades of grey
what do you know when I'm far away?
you can't see the smile on my face
when it comes or vanishes
sometimes tears wash me away
away I go
still alone
still master of my own
fate
join me? if you please
I'd like to share forever
in your company
together we will learn and share
discover things we'd never known
grow old together
I learn my ways and your ways too
give us a chance, don't leave me here..
while I figure out myself,
wait for me?
I turn my
head and look away
all the footprints that I make
I'll come back, again, someday
do you even miss me
do you even care
who am I when I'm far away?
am I gentle still
or have I gone... crazy
do I live in color
or shades of grey
what do you know when I'm far away?
you can't see the smile on my face
when it comes or vanishes
sometimes tears wash me away
away I go
still alone
still master of my own
fate
join me? if you please
I'd like to share forever
in your company
together we will learn and share
discover things we'd never known
grow old together
I learn my ways and your ways too
give us a chance, don't leave me here..
while I figure out myself,
wait for me?
I turn my
head and look away
all the footprints that I make
I'll come back, again, someday
24 November 2011
fuel for the family
fuel for the family
around the table, set
seated are hearts and hands and smiles
this time of year
harvest of the season
arguments welcomed, expected, even
vitality, fuel the family
when loved ones dear
travel far to be near
travel long for this time of year
to share and relish in the joy
this time of the year
we seek and find and hope to learn
why it is our souls all burn
to speak and aspire
to one day inspire
fuel for their family at home
around the table, set
seated are hearts and hands and smiles
this time of year
harvest of the season
arguments welcomed, expected, even
vitality, fuel the family
when loved ones dear
travel far to be near
travel long for this time of year
to share and relish in the joy
this time of the year
we seek and find and hope to learn
why it is our souls all burn
to speak and aspire
to one day inspire
fuel for their family at home
23 November 2011
behind the line
I see the flames escape the fire
fleeting floating ever higher
only when I close my eyes
am I far away from all these lies
the trees burn bright, they fall
the birds fly in the dark, away they go
over and out the radio is gone
it's quiet now there shall be no harm
we sit and watch as the world flash-es
hearts and homes now sit in ashes
old and burnt but not alone,
still hurt
I didn't know life was just reformed dirt...
I pinch and shudder at the thought
that we all were, almost caught,
behind the blaze, behind the light
that wall of fire burning bright
fleeting floating ever higher
only when I close my eyes
am I far away from all these lies
the trees burn bright, they fall
the birds fly in the dark, away they go
over and out the radio is gone
it's quiet now there shall be no harm
we sit and watch as the world flash-es
hearts and homes now sit in ashes
old and burnt but not alone,
still hurt
I didn't know life was just reformed dirt...
I pinch and shudder at the thought
that we all were, almost caught,
behind the blaze, behind the light
that wall of fire burning bright
22 November 2011
should I fall
if a dream is a wish
solely from my heart
please hold me close
so my dreams come true
if I should ever, lose a day
lose the night
waste the time
waste the light
let me down gently
peacefully
carefully
if ever I should fall away
disappear, deteriorate,
whisper memories into my ear
for when it comes
the day I reappear
I should know you,
always, my dear
solely from my heart
please hold me close
so my dreams come true
if I should ever, lose a day
lose the night
waste the time
waste the light
let me down gently
peacefully
carefully
if ever I should fall away
disappear, deteriorate,
whisper memories into my ear
for when it comes
the day I reappear
I should know you,
always, my dear
21 November 2011
my soul to the wind
I want to be able to live my life unguarded
with out the fear of a missed adventure
to wake up on the shore of some where far away
where I must turn around and walk forever home
Behind my eyes there writes a story
so lost alone in the world's own fury
I have tried and failed so much before
that I am home alone, secure
I want to run, to escape this time
and leave all of this routine behind
to sleep under a rock
hide in a mountain
live by the docks
by the rivers and fountains
I want an adventure to carry me free
around the world, over the sea
an adventure lined with fates restored
I surrender my soul to the wind
with out the fear of a missed adventure
to wake up on the shore of some where far away
where I must turn around and walk forever home
Behind my eyes there writes a story
so lost alone in the world's own fury
I have tried and failed so much before
that I am home alone, secure
I want to run, to escape this time
and leave all of this routine behind
to sleep under a rock
hide in a mountain
live by the docks
by the rivers and fountains
I want an adventure to carry me free
around the world, over the sea
an adventure lined with fates restored
I surrender my soul to the wind
20 November 2011
The words, my path
I carve through literature
like a blade through a curve
A delicate approach
filled with precision and concentration
I seek not only to learn
but also to experience
I want to walk the paths
these words lay bare before me
They beckon,
come to me.
I wander softly, wonder how
in my dreams I do not know
To whom I whisper
'where, or where do my dreams go?'
like a blade through a curve
A delicate approach
filled with precision and concentration
I seek not only to learn
but also to experience
I want to walk the paths
these words lay bare before me
They beckon,
come to me.
I wander softly, wonder how
in my dreams I do not know
To whom I whisper
'where, or where do my dreams go?'
19 November 2011
live again
I read a book recently
a lovely read it was, too
full of life and living things
things that moved with such vitality
I long for at the end of my day
when I am tired and alone
I walk around my home
sometimes I wish to talk to you
I put the radio on and sing along
dance in circles and spin around
around and around until I am real again
rewinding the inner workings
of my body
to eat and sleep and sing
that's what I am here for
until I can love again
I shall learn to live again
a lovely read it was, too
full of life and living things
things that moved with such vitality
I long for at the end of my day
when I am tired and alone
I walk around my home
sometimes I wish to talk to you
I put the radio on and sing along
dance in circles and spin around
around and around until I am real again
rewinding the inner workings
of my body
to eat and sleep and sing
that's what I am here for
until I can love again
I shall learn to live again
18 November 2011
free me
free me now, save me, my love
your hand in mine, and the light in your eyes
when you turn and I see you looking at me
my fingers dance across the pages I write to you
fluttering to and fro
pausing now and again in their elegance
missing you so much, never wanting to let go
with every word I write, that I say or that I type
and every sound of laughter tears or joy
I see in my mind
I go back in time
and you free me, love
you bring me peace
I give my heart
17 November 2011
you and me
a little story in my heart
I write before it falls apart
keep me here in your embrace
I want you now, and for always
I can't believe that this is true
that it is real, just me and you
I can't believe that when I see
the future things, still you and me
I close my eyes and there you are
so close to me and in my heart
when you stop and hold me close
suddenly, I just know
I write the words, what I feel,
I sing the songs and begin to heal
from missing you these days long past
but loving you, will surely last
I hold on, tightly to memories of us
but keep in mind all that we must
have to yet to share and make and see
Our futures boundless, as the sea
I write before it falls apart
keep me here in your embrace
I want you now, and for always
I can't believe that this is true
that it is real, just me and you
I can't believe that when I see
the future things, still you and me
I close my eyes and there you are
so close to me and in my heart
when you stop and hold me close
suddenly, I just know
I write the words, what I feel,
I sing the songs and begin to heal
from missing you these days long past
but loving you, will surely last
I hold on, tightly to memories of us
but keep in mind all that we must
have to yet to share and make and see
Our futures boundless, as the sea
16 November 2011
notice me, tribute
and all at once things fade to black
and dust again in the palm of my hand
I can't see the difference in the night
I can't see clearly the line or light of day
all of my memories have been erased
I go to sleep and last the night
dream of things that made me smile
once upon a time I thought
that you weren't here, not anymore
I put on my face and walk out the door
little things of my imagination
hiss and spit with indignation
frying on the morning stove
distractions cause me to turn and over, and
I feel a burn
there is now a pain, I feel so deeply
the purest thing I've ever known
where minutes turn timeless and even now
now when I hear the sounds around me
I just can't let go
hold me close and hold me tight
I ask you this, that one day you might
notice me, in my plight
notice me
notice me
I fade away
into the backdrop, into the background
I fade away
without a sight, without a sound
I fade away
my shadows reclaim me, they bring me home again
I fade away
my voice, my sight, the sound of my fists against the floor
soften, slowly, diminish
my strength is gone, it's leaving me
lower and lower I fall to the floor
I have no strength to get up, to move again
and all at once, it's just like that
and all at once things fade to black
and dust again in the palm of my hand
I can't see the difference in the night
I can't see clearly the line or light of day
all of my memories have been erased
I go to sleep and last the night
dream of things that made me smile
once upon a time I thought
that you weren't here, not anymore
I put on my face and walk out the door
little things of my imagination
hiss and spit with indignation
frying on the morning stove
distractions cause me to turn and over, and
I feel a burn
there is now a pain, I feel so deeply
the purest thing I've ever known
where minutes turn timeless and even now
now when I hear the sounds around me
I just can't let go
hold me close and hold me tight
I ask you this, that one day you might
notice me, in my plight
notice me
notice me
I fade away
into the backdrop, into the background
I fade away
without a sight, without a sound
I fade away
my shadows reclaim me, they bring me home again
I fade away
my voice, my sight, the sound of my fists against the floor
soften, slowly, diminish
my strength is gone, it's leaving me
lower and lower I fall to the floor
I have no strength to get up, to move again
and all at once, it's just like that
and all at once things fade to black
15 November 2011
find the middle of yourself and keep it safe
In the middle of the day,
In the middle of the night,
I have a sliver of your light.
It shatters and sparkles everywhere,
and I am full of your memory.
I see your smile, the colours in your eyes,
such a sweet smile...
I think of you often
for you are always in the middle of my mind
In the middle of the night,
I have a sliver of your light.
It shatters and sparkles everywhere,
and I am full of your memory.
I see your smile, the colours in your eyes,
such a sweet smile...
I think of you often
for you are always in the middle of my mind
14 November 2011
mindplays
There are shadows on the wall,
they sway back and forth.
A silent dance, they nightly play
as a bird flies by. Overhead,
seen only by imaginations
as it cuts through toward its nest;
an interruption not taken lightly.
All motion stops.
It is renewed,
only when our fears are relieved to see
branches sweeping in the summer breeze.
they sway back and forth.
A silent dance, they nightly play
as a bird flies by. Overhead,
seen only by imaginations
as it cuts through toward its nest;
an interruption not taken lightly.
All motion stops.
It is renewed,
only when our fears are relieved to see
branches sweeping in the summer breeze.
13 November 2011
you are my vision
In my eyes, I see a man
who knows what he wants from life.
I see a heart, better than gold,
and of a mind and a body
that can see his dreams through.
But only in my dreams,
are you with me,
and together,
we forge our destiny.
who knows what he wants from life.
I see a heart, better than gold,
and of a mind and a body
that can see his dreams through.
But only in my dreams,
are you with me,
and together,
we forge our destiny.
12 November 2011
I am moving on now
Time is a lovely reminder
of how long it has been since you
vanished from my my world.
All those tears and letters,
all those memories.
Now they sit outside my window,
joys of solid gold turning to dust.
All reminders that I must
let go
of it all,
Every last piece of you.
And time goes on.
So shall I.
Consider this, my goodbye.
of how long it has been since you
vanished from my my world.
All those tears and letters,
all those memories.
Now they sit outside my window,
joys of solid gold turning to dust.
All reminders that I must
let go
of it all,
Every last piece of you.
And time goes on.
So shall I.
Consider this, my goodbye.
11 November 2011
one last wish
I once heard that if a star falls from the sky,
into your view,
a wish will be granted, just for you.
But no one ever told me,
when that wish would come true.
And so here I stand, years gone by,
pictures and letters faded past,
into memories behind my eyes.
I've seen no more than eleven,
no fewer than that, too.
Each falling flash of light,
calling out to me, and each time,
my heart welled up with a surge of hope,
All I ever wished for was for you-
I wanted you to see me,
to hear me, to talk to me, to smile for me,
I wanted you to kiss me, to take me far away,
I wanted you to love me, to marry me someday.
I wanted to see our children,
with your eyes and my smile, running out in the yard,
I wanted to see you make it home, from that war....
Sometimes what you wish for, is exactly what you get...
Now a flag stands folded on the mantle, pictures still around,
each of my wishes granted,
but one....
I wish I could have said goodbye,
before they laid you in the ground.
into your view,
a wish will be granted, just for you.
But no one ever told me,
when that wish would come true.
And so here I stand, years gone by,
pictures and letters faded past,
into memories behind my eyes.
I've seen no more than eleven,
no fewer than that, too.
Each falling flash of light,
calling out to me, and each time,
my heart welled up with a surge of hope,
All I ever wished for was for you-
I wanted you to see me,
to hear me, to talk to me, to smile for me,
I wanted you to kiss me, to take me far away,
I wanted you to love me, to marry me someday.
I wanted to see our children,
with your eyes and my smile, running out in the yard,
I wanted to see you make it home, from that war....
Sometimes what you wish for, is exactly what you get...
Now a flag stands folded on the mantle, pictures still around,
each of my wishes granted,
but one....
I wish I could have said goodbye,
before they laid you in the ground.
10 November 2011
I know where I can find you
Somewhere below in the recesses of my mind,
where shadows chase the sun
and stars fly by day...
In the corners of a globe,
and on the edges of a sphere,
past the end of infinity...
I think of you...
I miss you...
and I dream of kissing you,
again.
Just one more time...
But I know it cannot be.
I know what is and isn't real.
And that is why, so far away,
beyond reality,
I let myself dream of the couldn't be's,
of the shouldn't be's,
of the never can be's...
That is where you are to me.
where shadows chase the sun
and stars fly by day...
In the corners of a globe,
and on the edges of a sphere,
past the end of infinity...
I think of you...
I miss you...
and I dream of kissing you,
again.
Just one more time...
But I know it cannot be.
I know what is and isn't real.
And that is why, so far away,
beyond reality,
I let myself dream of the couldn't be's,
of the shouldn't be's,
of the never can be's...
That is where you are to me.
09 November 2011
to my brother
Just because you are bigger than me,
and stronger than me,
and hold more rage than me,
doesn't mean you always have to use it.
Learn to let go every now and then.
and maybe then you won't leave me
to ice my leg with a rock.
I hate you when you are like this,
and you're like this more and more-
it's like you always have something to prove.
And you don't know
if you keep it up,
what you are going to lose.
Because someday, soon,
I will be gone for good.
But for now,
I sit here and ice my leg with a rock.
and stronger than me,
and hold more rage than me,
doesn't mean you always have to use it.
Learn to let go every now and then.
and maybe then you won't leave me
to ice my leg with a rock.
I hate you when you are like this,
and you're like this more and more-
it's like you always have something to prove.
And you don't know
if you keep it up,
what you are going to lose.
Because someday, soon,
I will be gone for good.
But for now,
I sit here and ice my leg with a rock.
08 November 2011
a beginning again
My bruises are almost healed,
the scars are softening, slowly.
My heart is starting to see again,
It is starting to see beauty,
it is starting to remember.
I can smile again, I can dream.
It is a whole new world, to live again.
What is it I used to be,
how did I use to see? or breathe?
What was it I called laughter?
I can laugh now...
it seems that my heart is healing,
and I live again
Who really knows that the world still spins,
when they are left behind.
After a heartache walks away,
To see everyone else all right,
when you are not...
the world does spin around you,
and it locks you out of life.
And somehow, I woke up
from you leaving,
And I am alive again.
I enjoy the world,
even more than when I was with you...
And I start anew,
a new beginning
the scars are softening, slowly.
My heart is starting to see again,
It is starting to see beauty,
it is starting to remember.
I can smile again, I can dream.
It is a whole new world, to live again.
What is it I used to be,
how did I use to see? or breathe?
What was it I called laughter?
I can laugh now...
it seems that my heart is healing,
and I live again
Who really knows that the world still spins,
when they are left behind.
After a heartache walks away,
To see everyone else all right,
when you are not...
the world does spin around you,
and it locks you out of life.
And somehow, I woke up
from you leaving,
And I am alive again.
I enjoy the world,
even more than when I was with you...
And I start anew,
a new beginning
07 November 2011
the beginning and now
A fable lost in some tattered script
in a long ago era,
where a feeble hand writ
and predicted a day
that never would come
where everyone lives,
a child of the Son.
Not too many believed him,
and for those who had faith,
that One would soon guide them
and show them the way.
So many years later
his word still endures.
While this world we now live in
seeks to find all the cures
for sorrow and pity, for liars and foes,
for every enmity, until the end of our woes.
in a long ago era,
where a feeble hand writ
and predicted a day
that never would come
where everyone lives,
a child of the Son.
Not too many believed him,
and for those who had faith,
that One would soon guide them
and show them the way.
So many years later
his word still endures.
While this world we now live in
seeks to find all the cures
for sorrow and pity, for liars and foes,
for every enmity, until the end of our woes.
06 November 2011
and where I go I do not know
I will follow
until I surrender
my heart to your heart.
I will imagine
all worlds as one
in favor of searching
for a better one.
A new beginning
a new time to keep
a new life to polish
with gentle dignity.
For chivalry is slowly forgotten
until the dreams of women
in timeless films of uncertainty
become real once again
until I surrender
my heart to your heart.
I will imagine
all worlds as one
in favor of searching
for a better one.
A new beginning
a new time to keep
a new life to polish
with gentle dignity.
For chivalry is slowly forgotten
until the dreams of women
in timeless films of uncertainty
become real once again
05 November 2011
unclear thoughts of thinking
and once upon a time I dreamt
I dreamed... dreaming still
I had a thought, an imagination,
a moment of conscious unthought
and I wished for nevermore
to hear you in my mind.
and as quickly as nothing occurred
a message appeared in bright lights
surrounded by miracles.
a twinkling of an idea clenched
between the forehead lines
of an inanimate statue...
it is too bad that dreams of
those long gone are nowhere
to be rediscovered
and unclear imaginations
create inspirations
I dreamed... dreaming still
I had a thought, an imagination,
a moment of conscious unthought
and I wished for nevermore
to hear you in my mind.
and as quickly as nothing occurred
a message appeared in bright lights
surrounded by miracles.
a twinkling of an idea clenched
between the forehead lines
of an inanimate statue...
it is too bad that dreams of
those long gone are nowhere
to be rediscovered
and unclear imaginations
create inspirations
04 November 2011
if only there were no strings to hold me back
Some days I just feel like giving up on things.
Staying in bed an extra hour
and not going in to class.
Not doing my homework
and watching a movie,
buying a ticket and flying to a vacation.
I feel like starting a new life,
but then, I think of, or try to think of,
what would I do with my life?
And I suck it up and give in,
and fall out of bed.
I keep walking to class,
I keep writing papers and
hope one day I can leave,
03 November 2011
changes
Feet, inches, centimeters...
I do not know what to do...
Am I tall or short or in between?
Do I have anything to lose?
Or is too much of me split
up among the many facets
of my personality
do I change among my peers?....
ears ringing? check
heart racing? check
eyes tearing? check
voice breaking? check
feet, inches, centimeters.....
02 November 2011
for a few moments of indecision
Before I start I must let you know
I would never let you go.
With me always you shall be,
reveling in the sights we'll see.
Weekends come and months shall go
beckoning onward, yes or no?
Shall we follow, shall we stay?
enjoying always the breaths we take.
A new future, a new desire
melting in the flames of fire
will you join me as I wander?
Oh, but distance makes the heart grow fonder.
01 November 2011
uninspiration of the lowest degree
Also known as apathy
being lazy,
and perhaps depressed.
This is what I suffer from. right now.
But you wouldn't know it
and you wouldn't guess it.
Unless you saw me.
A picture of sadness.
In my eyes, a dull hope
peers out through the lashes.
And my head,
rests on my shoulders,
as my tired worn posture
resonates with hope of relief.
but to no avail.
for in this current state,
hopelessness is my norm,
and uninspiration,
my state of mind.
being lazy,
and perhaps depressed.
This is what I suffer from. right now.
But you wouldn't know it
and you wouldn't guess it.
Unless you saw me.
A picture of sadness.
In my eyes, a dull hope
peers out through the lashes.
And my head,
rests on my shoulders,
as my tired worn posture
resonates with hope of relief.
but to no avail.
for in this current state,
hopelessness is my norm,
and uninspiration,
my state of mind.
31 October 2011
spooks
falling in your dreams,
alone, in a power out
crossing the train tracks.
Sounds echoing nightly,
branches rattling the windows
just like pots and pans.
ghosts and goblins and
hauntings. Nowhere to believe,
when you were younger.
a spider crawling
down from the ceiling above
right in front of you.
alone, in a power out
crossing the train tracks.
Sounds echoing nightly,
branches rattling the windows
just like pots and pans.
ghosts and goblins and
hauntings. Nowhere to believe,
when you were younger.
a spider crawling
down from the ceiling above
right in front of you.
30 October 2011
thinking
tests to study for, exams to take,
and people to pray for,
before it's too late.
And things to remember...
to-do lists to write, and then to do,
pictures to draw, and to paint,
but first to Dream up for today.
Not so long ago, we were there together...
questions to answer, and things to ponder,
more to listen and less to wander,
trails to walk when the weather gets warmer.
What happened to us...
thoughts rotate, gravitate, in my brain-
go together, and drift apart,
like leaves floating down a river.
And those memories we made...
and people to pray for,
before it's too late.
And things to remember...
to-do lists to write, and then to do,
pictures to draw, and to paint,
but first to Dream up for today.
Not so long ago, we were there together...
questions to answer, and things to ponder,
more to listen and less to wander,
trails to walk when the weather gets warmer.
What happened to us...
thoughts rotate, gravitate, in my brain-
go together, and drift apart,
like leaves floating down a river.
And those memories we made...
29 October 2011
annual visit
I give you chances,
I give you treats.
I try to reward you,
entice you,
motivate you...
but no
not this morning.
not today.
again.
instead you sleep.
instead you dream.
instead you walk the other way.
it's like you know what is going
to happen to you.
even if you know it really isn't that bad.
but your little brain
does not comprehend
it's for your better health.
So that you can wake up
whenever you want to
and lounge around
at your desire.
dear kitty,
please, come to me.
the vet won't take long.
I give you treats.
I try to reward you,
entice you,
motivate you...
but no
not this morning.
not today.
again.
instead you sleep.
instead you dream.
instead you walk the other way.
it's like you know what is going
to happen to you.
even if you know it really isn't that bad.
but your little brain
does not comprehend
it's for your better health.
So that you can wake up
whenever you want to
and lounge around
at your desire.
dear kitty,
please, come to me.
the vet won't take long.
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