A Season's Guide to My Emotions

For the chance to miss a dream

And not understand why
I would sleep till the day
brings a bright new sky

I long for the green
that colors the grass
the leaves on the tree
like a piece of sea glass

I yearn for the air
and it's billowing wind
when summer arrives
and springs without sin

that I am happy, and free,
and forget all my worries,
but never for long
they come in snow flurries

it changes as the color
of the leaves in the fall
and my heart, it will open,
when they're gone, one and all

without shelter to hide it
it rages a storm
with hurricane winds
and I am alone

a perfect kind of love

No love is wilder
or purer or truer,
nothing is greater
than the bond the we share

no story is better writ
than the one we write ourselves.
and no actor in all the world
could portray the feelings
that are ours.

There is a secret miracle
waiting far beyond
and the ones who reach for it
must share a common bond

Friendship, curiosity,
adventure, perhaps
Mutual understanding
and a love that far outlasts

any other before it,
and any more to come
a love like ours is perfect
it's a perfect kind of love

new heights

all the things
I've wanted to do

I changed my mind
so many times

to readjust
and reevaluate

to live and learn
and concentrate

I've opened my heart
to you and only
you

now these plans of mine
I must see through

day to day
and from time to time

you wish you dream
all these pleasant things

you make your mark
you earn their trust

the seasons change
to dawn to dusk

the flowers bloom
the plants and trees

sift gently in
the august breeze


I hope for me
and for you too

We'll make things work
we'll make it through

we shall live and learn
turn round and round

let these wings of ours
lift us off the ground

after

my heart feels peace
my soul serene
there is no never
or what might have been

we work it out
and smile once more
for the things that destroy us
bring us closer,
still

small fights and ramblings
little trivial things
the way words get messed around
those misunderstandings

I hope you know
I hope you see
without you
there would be no me

if happy little blue birds fly

why can't the sky just open up
and swallow me whole?
I'd search the cosmos,
search all their soul
look through the blackness
find the worm hole

escape and evaporate
blink and you're too late
I put myself out there
you walked right on by
now I'll keep on going
no chance for goodbye

if those happy little blue birds
fly each and every day
why can't you help me?
please don't go away

alone

Alone in this little room, I am
crying tears over empty, open hands
making things worse by trying to save
my heart from another empty grave

I walked for long before I knew
that I had almost walked straight through
the line of fire, but then I turned
and watched it all slowly burn

ashes now, of my lonely heart
I wish I could shadow, and fall apart
hide away in a room somewhere
be forgotten, no one left to care

I need you

I need words
to speak the truth
to speak to you

I need eyes
to see the world
to see what we have

I need your hands
to hold in mine
close to my heart

I need hope
something to believe in
and never let go

I need faith
that what weighs on my mind
and in my heart
you will help me get through

I need you
today, tomorrow, always

because I love you

and when the sun shines,

I forget all about the rain

all about the pain
all the dark clouds
and shadows

all the light and lightning
the thunder
roaring growling crashing clashing

When the clouds part
the clear sky poking through
invading
reclaiming that which was rightly its own


but when the sun shines,
its luminous intensity
its radiance its warmth

 brings to me a new sense of me
my life my own my sparkle shine and comfort.

when the new and improved
and free and fresh come together,

when the sun shines
I forget all about the rain

What I can do

I can climb.
I can run and dive and scream and laugh and shine.
I can show you the world
I can reach for the stars and touch the moon.

I am number mine.
I don't want to be the best there is
I just want to be me.
There is no first or second.

I am not in a line.
 I am unmarked, unscathed. Untouched by the world.

only in my imagination.

I have seen what men can do.
I have seen the news, heard personal stories.
I have seen the scars left behind on the earth.


I will not be a reason.
I will not lose my freedom.

I will shout out to the world and sing from my heart.
I will climb all the trees and
swim all the seas.

I will hold my head high and fulfill all my dreams.

empowered

It is a new day
A new start to a new week. 
A new beginning again.

my day.
my week,
my own second chance,
take two. or three, or four.

I open my eyes and my arms to the world.
with  a fresh smile on my face
and in my heart.

each open hand I grasp, I hold
I give my thanks, I leave with peace.

To march on, forever forward,
reveling in the gift of life
I choose to accept as my own.

This is my day. My chance. My turn.

Let me show you what I can do.

standstill

One long race against the world
I run far and don't let go
my eyes behold the blur of the land
hold back the wind

I blink

and away I am gone.

A moment moves so slowly
my mind races on ahead
all the words around me
voices speaking spilling
stealing ideas

I run through and my voice
runs through and my heart
runs faster
just so I can get to you

I move on and on
closer and farther away

Once

I stop.
and then I stand still
I fall  and I look up at the sky
and watch the clouds race by

one, by one, large forms floating
until they, too, stand still.

my mind may deceive me

for the creatures that live close by
yet far enough to remain a mystery

that travel in and out
and live their lives just out of reach
of mine

that sometimes flutter in between my thoughts
my daydreams

and propel me into a whirlwind world
a Disney movie
this cannot be real
but please don't go

you look closely at me
curiously
and I stare back at you

to stand with you

I can remember the way the rain falls
down down down
from the sky

and how it feels when it lands on my skin
cold and surprising
the drop splashes off my shoulder
and then it is gone

sometimes it pours
buckets of the air
compressed together
flow from the sky
a waterfall
and land straight on me

even my own raincloud has had enough,
carrying this weight

but when the light shines through
and warms heart
the heat of the air
and the smell of the world

blend together
into a shadow of a memory.

the sun it seems, is supreme

I like the sun
because It's like you.
it always makes me smile
and I like you, too.

standing with you
is like making a spotlight of the sun
and dancing around

through the curtains,
beyond the rain clouds

waiting for the time to go

I have a secret

An idea, if  you will. A plan.

But I just can't tell you yet.

as much as I want to.
As much as I want you
to be here with me when I disclose...
It cannot be.

I know something you don't know
childhood taunts
echo in my head
but my heart knows I can't say quite yet.

days must pass,
and those days must be filled to the brim
active and achieved
light and dark
surpass, proceed
begin and end, renew the life within.

and when it shall be,
the last moment I can hang on

I can just imagine

I want you with me.

behind the edge of the world

behind the edge of the world
past the trees of yesteryear

and the flowers form their buds
and the mountain disappear
I am where you find your peace of mind

I stand alone above the world
my horizons are your skies
endless, the  imagination of a child
growing slowly, free and wild

I wait for you out here
where you once waited for me

let the clouds devour me,
the wind blow my soul away
for the freedom of the earth
whispers secrets,
all voices come forth

I stand alone
beyond the edge of the world.

open eyes

open eyes
and all is a blur

the first thing I see when I wake in the morning
compared to the dreams that I keep when I
am asleep

open to the new world, the new day
all that my imagination creates
all that spectacular
the shiny the new
the familiar


is drowned out and left behind
by the light that penetrates the sleep
from my dreams
and I awake
in a hazy blurrrrrr

cold misrepresented, unwanted
the only chance to retaliate
against the poor moonbeams of the night
is taken away

this new light
unwelcome undesired
forceful
and marked

the force the chance the opportunity
I open my eyes
try to make sense of all that's around me
for windows and glass and space
are all incoherent concepts

abstract ideas

I don't want to wake up



       

the sun sets slowly

for the days that rain around, poor and obsolete
for the matters of the heart that are solely mine to keep
and as the light of the sky drains from your eyes
the sun sets small against the night

I imagine soft little flakes of slow
that flutter down beyond the road
the edges of my horizon out of reach

where but once I thought I saw a spark
that rained out the clouds and fought the dark
away from me
away from you
away from things that  we're allergic too

when the trees grow up and tall
lean away and survive the fall
blossom their flowers and show out their leaves
and send whispers away through the breeze

as the sky falls and the fog roams in
closer and closer beyond the rim
over the rainbow. and well,
beyond the point of no return
the sun sets slowly,
but shall return again

from then and now, my reality

my shadow looks at me in my dream
and shows me the way to serenity
where peace is all around
and my sleep is always soft and sound

and when the time comes to face the light
I close my eyes and hold them tight
that maybe dreams would find their way
back to me and hold off the day

and though we know so much, full well
and on our dreams, we do dwell
where pieces of the truth inspire
to surpass what dreams we may desire

where is the cold?

when the sun beats down
in rays of golden light
to fall upon your back
and rest with all its might
to leave behind a whisper
or a shout

and all around the warm air is flowing
the smell of the season coming to and end
where life is always growing,
up
and September pushes on again

in times like this
it is hard to imagine
where cold can come from.

as ice is melting all around
 and the mosquitoes burn through the air
the flowers burst through the ground
and we walk about, as without a care

on a day so warm and reminiscent
of time not so long a go
it is so easy to forget
that soon, it shall be cold

don't forget to remember

Sometimes the days drift by one by one
until it turns into month by month,
and the only thing that reminds you
where you stand in time
are the displays at the stores

ushering upon you
the decorations for the holiday
that is still two months away.

And when you find yourself

face to face
with a row of flags,

one behind the other
as you drive down main street,
and you realize...
your heart skips a beat.

The sudden impact
that today

 is that day

Ten years go by and its hard to see
that somehow life went on for you and me.
Somehow lives were built up again,
and those that were laid to rest...
are remembered again.

As we vowed that day
ten years ago,

to never forget

and never regret...

A moment of silence...

For those who are gone,
their lives ended early
so we can live on

in freedom... and peace

like everyone should.

don't live to forget

the tragedy

or their memory

Each day is one day more

upon the one we lived before.

Before we remember

the years,

come and gone.

A decade between us,

an unfortunate bond.

United we are

across this whole land

Don't forget to remember,

puddle jumping

sometimes I feel
like the raindrops that come down from the sky
are little messages
that leaked out of a bottle

that they are trying to tell me something.

and sometimes when it rains, it pours

and I feel an urgency
to decipher these little messages

but instead I dance around in the puddles
and look up and
thank the sky
for these little moments of
freedom
and fun

don't leave me

Too much
too little
No life left here for me

Whatever I wish for,
in my dreams I keep

A treasure to behold
Where ever I may be
And as you turn to go
take one last look at me

for memories are lived
in short bursts of light
and the moments we remember
will outlast every night

Safely with you

So far behind
So much to do
I need reassurance
I look up to you

Never too far
Never too busy
A beacon of hope
for all of the needy

You are my harbor
My gentle North star
You help me get by
when I've struck a sandbar

Too often it seems
I find myself lost
When I get too head strong
in some silly cause

A voice of good reason
to lead me back on my way
Thank you for loving me
day after day

Thanks for believing in me
day upon day

a goodbye so sad to see come true

the shadows are all that have been left behind
of words you spoke
and scorched the soul
of he who loved and never left
before

where but once upon a time
so near but long ago
the thoughts of a life forever mine
that never reached, never let go
and held on to the whispers of a magic heart
have frozen solid
over the sea laid bare by the words
you dared
to speak

to a soul much frightened,
so used to dreams come true
only in a dream
and only with you
as fate would have it
and fear would see
the things that were never meant to be


goodbyes are all that are left
for you
for me

A lesson from my life

.

It is so nice to see you
And how have you been?
It's been so many years
I never thought to see you again

Too many sunsets, too many moons
Much too much coffee and birthday balloons
Work seems to age me
Far beyond my years
It's hard to imagine
overcoming all those tears...

Shed in sorrow
For the the times that have come
When you must say goodbye
To well a loved good friend
as they're ushered Home
to the Good Lord one morning
Or evening perhaps

It doesn't really matter
When you're under attack
that's how it feels
the world fades to black...

My friend take this lesson
that I've learned through my life
Make the most of this life
Each day counts
for the ones you lead right

where we find ourselves

when two hearts meet
and two hands hold
one in the other
and truths are told
to unite the one
with its treasured friend
no light will falter
no love will end

where love does race
across the skies
I can see your face
and in your eyes
together we'll stand
not far apart
hand to hand
and heart to heart

by your side

When I look up
and into your eyes,
I see in your face
that the light outshines
the darkness away,

and in its place,
I know, is safe
where I want to be,
and be always.

it happened some time ago

I started to cry when I heard some things;
I wasn't having a great day myself,
but I was doing very well keeping it,
to myself.

But when I hear you say things about
the way I was raised
and if my parents were good,
and helped me,
that I'd be better off.

well,

I thought I liked you.
I thought you were my friend,
but hearing these words from you
cut all ties.

Welcome to the end.

Where once I may have heeded your advice
listened to your worries
and sought your company,

I now leave you to your own thoughts.

I'm not one to push back what you've given to me.
But just once I'd like to say it.

If you were in my shoes
you'd understand.

If you'd let me say something,
 and cared enough to listen to it,
well, maybe, possibly, we could work it out.

I don't like this new distance
but I will learn to get over it.
Because that is what I've learned to do.

For everyone who's burned me,
torched the bridges in between,
there is no crossing over.

Only moving on, moving forward.
Looking bright into the future.
where its all black.

I've learned to like black.
It can be piercing and sharp,
or soft,
and likewise as alone as I am.

Thank you for sharing with me,
for everything that's shaped me.
Thank you
for not wasting the rest of my life.

Now I see how it is
to be free.

window wishes

on days like this
well any day, really

when I'm not near you
or around you
and far away

I talk to you
or I remember
what it was like when I was there

I make wishes
staring out the window

I put them in my pocket
and when its windy
I set them free

sunrise

we should see the sunrise
we should steal away in the night
talk about our secrets
our fears
our truths and our years

what matters to you
and what matters to me
everything above and below
everything we did
and didn't know

until we look up
and see the light
a bright new day

the morning
the sunrise